I put my safety helmet onTook up my torch to brazeThe job success, the metal joinedDespite it looked a haze…. You had the helmet on back to front. Idiot…… Sorry boss…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021
Category Archives: CONSTRUCTION FAILS
Stan Struggles with a Toilet Build
My neighbour said get Stan, DorisHe put our toilet inI plied him lots of bikkies/teaAnd stacks of tonic/gin…. Shit that was a hard one boss…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021 Me- note the platform you have to fold down to use it. Jeez, you wouldn’t want to be in a hurry. Or drunk. Doris says she’s veryContinue reading “Stan Struggles with a Toilet Build”
Disabled Lift
We always do the right thing byDisabled, catering forA special lift just for their useTo get from floor to floor…. I shake my head at some of these real-life situations…….. I’ve left my baby waiting below.Our staff member is on tea break miss. Back in 5 min……. Don MatthewsOctober 2021
Deck
This photo is not humourousDesign is very sussThe woman has a toddlerThe deck’s so dangerous…. Don MatthewsOctober 2021
Stan Designs the Bike Track
Went to universityDegree’d in lanes for bikesNow applying knowledge toLanes which bikers like…. Safety and comfort is my motto…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021
Stan and Perc Build a Train Line
You start here PercI’ll start thereMeet in middleWe smart pair…. What went wrong Stan?…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021
Nearly Had a Heart Attack
Nearly had a heart attackNearly took a rideNearly got out wrong sideGot out other side…. Jeez that was close…… Why did we put the bath here dear?……. Stan said it was the in thing……. Don Matthews September 2021
Slippery Dip
I built this lovely slippery dip(Present for my son)(First ride), if he then likes itI’ll build another one For the daughter…. Shit you alright son?…… Don MatthewsSeptember 2021
Help Stan, We Need You
We had another builderDo a job or twoLeft us with this problemDon’t know what to do?…. Can fix no worries folks…. Oh thankyou Stan. We love it……. Isn’t he nice dear? Our favourite tradesman is Stan…….. Don MatthewsSeptember 2021
Stan Retains Heritage
The Council they required of meFacade it had to stayImportant for our heritageHeritage they say…. Well done Stan…… Thanks boss…… Don MatthewsSeptember 2021
The Flippant, Comic, and Serious 