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The poetry etc of Don Matthews

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Category Archives: SAFETY FAILS

Two-Way Gear

Remember which directionWe need to travel dearYou are sometimes forgetfulIt is a two-way gear…. Don MatthewsJanuary 2022

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryJanuary 1, 2022Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:accident, car gear, humour, poetry2 Comments on Two-Way Gear

Stan Sorts a Problem

I bought this load of timberFrom the timber storeProblem with the packing butProblem now no more…. Don MatthewsDecember 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryDecember 27, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:humour, poetry, stan, timber, van4 Comments on Stan Sorts a Problem

Stan. Big Machine Expert

Have had a lot of practice withRepairing big machinesSafety is my first concernFrom video is seen…. Don MatthewsNovember 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryNovember 29, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:machine repair, stan2 Comments on Stan. Big Machine Expert

Stan (and Apprentice Perc) Install a Light

The red joins on to blue (see Perc?)Just as in school (they taught)The last to join is black it isAnd light goes on (as taught)…. Shit Perc! you didn’t tell me the power had to be turned off…… Don MatthewsNovember 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryNovember 24, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:electrical, humour, light, poetry, stan and perc2 Comments on Stan (and Apprentice Perc) Install a Light

Stan Gets His Train Licence

Assisted by stoker Perc I’ve just received my licenceThis is my first train driveWhere do I find the brake Perc?When station I arrive?…. Was this the last station Perc?…… Don MatthewsNovember 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryNovember 6, 2021Posted inRandom verse reveal, SAFETY FAILSTags:accident, humour, poetry, stan, train4 Comments on Stan Gets His Train Licence

Stan Does His Weights and Measures

I did the weights and measuresTrigonometryShould have worked no problemEmbarrassing to see…. Please empathise with StanHe is trying…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryNovember 3, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:forklift, humour, poetry, stan2 Comments on Stan Does His Weights and Measures

I’m Gonna Be a Racing Driver. Yay!

I’m gonna be a driverRacing round the trackPractising my driving skillsWatch me do this trick…. You alright son?…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryOctober 16, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:humour, kids, poetry, racing driver, toy car1 Comment on I’m Gonna Be a Racing Driver. Yay!

Stan the Security Guard

Just taken on the jobTo check securityAny faults I find, correctHello? What’s this I see?…. Sorted…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryOctober 15, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:chain, humour, poetry, stan2 Comments on Stan the Security Guard

Filling Up the Gas Tank

Is the gas tank filled hon?Yes love, topped up, doneThen foot down on acceleratorLet’s go, let’s go hon…. Shit. Forgot to pay. Back up hon…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryOctober 15, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:gas station, humour, poetry1 Comment on Filling Up the Gas Tank

New Asbestos Liner For Your Oven

Asbestos is the bestTo line your oven, why?Guaranteed to not lose heatAnd not pollute your pie…. Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Posted bydonmatthewspoetryOctober 14, 2021Posted inSAFETY FAILSTags:advertisement, asbestos, poetry6 Comments on New Asbestos Liner For Your Oven

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