SAFETY FAILS – Flippant, Comic, and Serious

Mechanic Stan

I own myself a forkliftAnd need to work on carThe forklift’s very usefulFor getting under car…. Safety is my motto…… Don MatthewsJune 2022

Two-Way Gear

Remember which directionWe need to travel dearYou are sometimes forgetfulIt is a two-way gear…. Don MatthewsJanuary 2022

Stan Sorts a Problem

I bought this load of timberFrom the timber storeProblem with the packing butProblem now no more…. Don MatthewsDecember 2021

Stan. Big Machine Expert

Have had a lot of practice withRepairing big machinesSafety is my first concernFrom video is seen…. Don MatthewsNovember 2021

Stan (and Apprentice Perc) Install a Light

The red joins on to blue (see Perc?)Just as in school (they taught)The last to join is black it isAnd light goes on (as taught)…. Shit Perc! you didn’t tell me the power had to be turned off…… Don MatthewsNovember 2021

Stan Gets His Train Licence

Assisted by stoker Perc I’ve just received my licenceThis is my first train driveWhere do I find the brake Perc?When station I arrive?…. Was this the last station Perc?…… Don MatthewsNovember 2021

Stan Does His Weights and Measures

I did the weights and measuresTrigonometryShould have worked no problemEmbarrassing to see…. Please empathise with StanHe is trying…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

I’m Gonna Be a Racing Driver. Yay!

I’m gonna be a driverRacing round the trackPractising my driving skillsWatch me do this trick…. You alright son?…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Stan the Security Guard

Just taken on the jobTo check securityAny faults I find, correctHello? What’s this I see?…. Sorted…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021

Filling Up the Gas Tank

Is the gas tank filled hon?Yes love, topped up, doneThen foot down on acceleratorLet’s go, let’s go hon…. Shit. Forgot to pay. Back up hon…… Don MatthewsOctober 2021