We have received requests for our news anchor Poet Don
to research more into the goings-on of Chairman Mao.
He has come up with the goods.
To re-vigorate Mao’s aging body
He thought an idea was to try
Sleeping with many fertile maidens
With as many he could find (and then lie)
Many ended up with, yes, VD
Did this worry the maidens? No not a bit
To them it was a badge of great honour
To sleep with the Chairman, not sit
You are a mine if information….
He Said He ‘Washed Himself Inside The Bodies Of His Women’
Photo credit: ustinovforum.com
As Mao got older, his health got worse. He was infertile, he was aging, and his body was falling apart. He needed his youthful strength back. The best way to do that, Mao was pretty sure, was to sleep with as many women as possible.
Mao claimed that he needed the waters of yin to replenish his yang—which was a fancy way of saying he needed to have sex with a lot of women to get his manliness back. His doctor disagreed, but Mao was certain he was onto a good idea. It was, he was sure, at least worth a try.
Mao had a special “sex bed” made with one side raised 10 centimeters (4 in) higher than the other. Every day, he brought in peasant girls. Before they could hop in bed with the chairman, though, he made them read a sex manual called Classic of the Plain Girl’s Secret Way. After all, Mao didn’t need amateurs.
A lot of those women ended up with STDs, but they didn’t mind. Sleeping with the chairman was the most exciting moment of their lives. “The illness, transmitted by Mao, was a badge of honor,” his doctor said, “testimony to their close relations with the chairman.”