I’ve studied every colour cardAll the subtle huesPeople always like my workFrom whichever view…. We love it Stan. The door is so subtle…….. Don MatthewsSeptember 2021
Category Archives: DESIGN FAILS
A Pub in Japan Has These Toilets
A pub in Japan has these toiletsWith dolls which wake up when you sitThen start singing happy Jap melodiesWhich to many would frighten the shit…. And then move slowly towards you and kiss your knees…… Don MatthewsAugust 2021 I think they could have chosen a better song……..
Teddy Bears For Your Kiddies Bedroom
Kiddies all love teddy bearsWe sell two lovely onesTo hang down from their bedroom ceilAnd give them lots of fun…. They’re cuddling mummy…….. Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Was Tubby and Dim
I used to be a tubbyBefore I joined the gymI’m now transformed, quite different(I’m also not so dim)…. Could Stan have something to do with designing this poster?…… Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Stan Wins Lounge of the Year Award
Every lounge I look at’sOld same old same oldI wanted something differentExciting, different, bold…. What have you to say to the media Stan?……. It was nothing….. There you are listenersHumble words from a toilet installer….. Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Our Baby Loves to Play With Balls
The package said were lots of ballsOur baby loves her ballsShe’s overjoyed how many thereAre to play with…. Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Stan Builds a Shimmering Kitchen
I specialize in kitchensOf a different kindHere’s a sample of my work(On the bench I signed…) Stan was here…… Not professional boss?….. You can’t see it. It’s under the cake. Boss said don’t let the owners see.Sorted…… Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Stan Solves an Attic Problem
We have an upstairs attic butNo room to put in stairsStan came up with bright ideaHow to get up there…. We would never have thought of this Stan. Thankyou…… Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Mona on the Wall
We love the Mona LisaHer gentle subtle smileWe added touch of eleganceWith a longish pile….. To match our carpet…… Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Rocking Chair
I am a lovely rocking chairComplete with place to sitWhenever people sit in meWhy do they all say shit?…. Stan?……. Yes boss?……. Don MatthewsAugust 2021
Flippant, Comic, and Serious 