How Gullible Are You?

1800’s

I like to pride myself
Not being gullible
Then why fall I to adverts

To Dye’s Voltaic Belt

From Dr Dye

Male corset guaranteed to
“Restore manly vigour”

Forerunner of Viagra I suppose……

————–

Then there was that time when
“Sloan’s Liniment ” I bought.
Good for “Man or Beast” they said.
Does what they say it aught.




I bought it for my dog. Did nothing……

————–

TODAY

Then I fell today for “Alpha Arbutin”

Guaranteed to keep my
healthy looking skin

Forever……

Evidence this Alpha worked
Scientists did apply
To young and glowing models
Must work with me, must buy


—————

Another one, Resveratrol
(derived from grapes I’m told)



Another one is chicory root
Eating healths your git
Removes your earwax from your ears
Went and bought some but….


Still get earwax



—————

If you are a woman
Here is one for you
“Medicinal Compound” (Lydia’s)
No doctor needed too


1936 poster Lydia Pinkam’s Medicine Company



“Trust a woman” Lydia says
(Ms Lydia -Lily-Pinkham)



Compound comes in bottle form
Contents mainly alc
“Baby in a bottle ” promised
(On baby’s bot use talc)


Might be true once alcohol
had done it’s job……

—————-

Lydia Estes Pinkham (born Estes; February 9, 1819 – May 17, 1883) was an American inventor and marketer of an herbal-alcoholic “women’s tonic” for menstrual and menopausal problems, which medical experts dismissed as a quack remedy, but which is still on sale today in a modified form.

It was the aggressive marketing of Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound that raised its profile, while also rallying the skeptics. Long, promotional copy would dramatise “women’s weakness”, “hysteria” and other themes commonly referenced at the time. Pinkham urged women to write to her personally, and she would maintain the correspondence in order to expose the customer to more persuasive claims for the remedy. Clearly the replies were not all written by Pinkham herself, as they continued after her death.

Pinkham and her “medicinal compound” for feminine disorders became the subject of a bawdy drinking song, “Lily the Pink“, of which a sanitized version became a number one hit by The Scaffold in the United Kingdom.



She was celebrated in the 1968 song
‘Lily the Pink’ by Scaffold. Still worth a listen



Lyrics below

We’ll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case

Mr. Freers had sticky out ears
And it made him awful shy
And so they gave him medicinal compound
And now he’s learning how to fly

Robert Tony was known to be bony
He would never eat his meal
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now they move him round on wheels

We’ll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case

Old Ebenezer thought he was Julius Caesar
And so they put him in a home
Where they gave him medicinal compound
And now he’s emperor of Rome

Johnny Hammer had a terrible st-st-st-st-stammer
He could hardly s-s-say a word
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now’s he’s seen, but never heard

We’ll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case

Aunty Milly ran willy-nilly
When her legs they did recede
And so they rubbed on medicinal compound
Now they call her Milly Pede

Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles
And the boys all called her names
But she changed medicinal compound
Now he joins in all the games

We’ll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case

Lily the Pink, she turned to drink
She filled up with paraffin inside
And despite her medicinal compound
Sadly pickled Lily died

Up to heaven her soul ascended
All the church bells they did ring
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angels sing

We’ll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case



Published by donmatthewspoetry

I just like playing round with words. And having fun

2 thoughts on “How Gullible Are You?

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