Meeting Turns to Crap by Don Matthews

(true story in my hometown Adelaide)

The staffers were all gathered

Round each other, seating

When suddenly they heard above

A sound, a sudden creaking

Very soon they all began

To look up, and start mumbling

When the creaking sound above them

Turned to quite loud rumbling

Suddenly the ceiling

Above them gave away

And out from pipe above them

A not-nice thing did spray

As reader of my paper

When I read of this thing

My eyes popped in amazement

What this burst pipe did bring

The staffers they were more surprised

Than me at what came out

A flood of faecal matter

Some said “Shit!” (some shout)

It seems the plumb contractor

Did bang on the wrong pipe

Which split this faecal carrier

(All full, and over-ripe)

The staffers fled in terror

(Would you not do the same?)

Running for escape hatch

(Through door in…